Autojournaliferous updatistic gizmologousness

*The Narrator starts off at an almost-whispering radio commentator voice* Flixtron awakes somewhat early with Tunare’s own Headache (that’s right, it deserves a capital H) banging on his cranium. After some serious wincing, groaning, jumping around on one leg, rolling on the floor, throwing stuff at Floozie the monkey and finally dumping his head in a barrel of cold water he finally manages to put together a coherent Cure spell and get rid of the pain. Looking around in his innroom, or rather the remains of it, he is understandably grumpy.

“Hello, feeling any better?”

“Not That Damn Voice again! Stop pestering me, whatever you are, I don’t want to have anything to do with you!”

“Unfortunately I cannot grant your wish, Master F, because we are bound together on the two sides of the Dream barrier. Even more regrettably, our relationship is not even a balanced one - I live my life on this side, and I allow you to live yours on that one.”

“That is the silliest thing I’ve heard in my life, and believe me, being a gnome, I’ve heard quite a lot. Get out of my head. Now.”

“I’m sorry Flix, for what I’m going to do next, but I have to demonstrate this. Sleep.” *Flixtron collapses on the floor sleeping*

“Now get up.” *He opens his eyes, and gets up, stretching* “Do you see it now?”

“See what? I felt a bit sleepy, that is all!”

“Sleepy, eh? For all your imagination and brilliancy, you can be very hard-headed, you know. That, exactly is the nature of our relationship. I _am_ you, in a sense. I can give orders, which you will accept, not as orders, but as your own ideas, impulses and will. Say for example… jump around!” *Naturally Flix starts to jump around, waving his arms in the air, happy, but quite a bit bewildered at the same time*

“See it now? When I wanted you to jump, you suddenly _wanted_ to jump.” *It takes a couple of seconds till this sinks in, but when it does, Flix starts to look very scared*

“Are… are you a god, then?”

“No, it’s not like that. I am outside your world, but inside you. The Gods are part of your world, and can affect any parts of it. I can only influence you, and your five companions, but I can do it much more profoundly than any god would ever hope.” *a soothing mental smile* “Don’t look so frightened, it’s not that bad at all. First of all, you can take it from me, that although I am a bit silly, sometimes forgetful, and often irrational, I don’t want to harm either you, or my other five little trustees. If that was my intent, i could have already conjured up a thousand gruesome and tragic accidents to throw you into. What I do want though is all of you to grow and flourish, so you can count on me to spur you ahead to new adventures.”

“Now wait a minute! You keep referring to others?”

“We’ll get to it shortly, but let me finish this first. So, second, believe or not, I have quite a wide overview on Norrath, and everything you do, so I can help you with superior information. Remember the moments when you had sudden revelations and you simply ‘knew’ where something or someone was, or how to solve a difficult problem? Well, that was me as well. And third, I neither can, nor have any intention to make a puppet out of you. I will let all of you live your lives out of my sight, or will often be content just to watch you do stuff. Of course, I will take initiative sometimes, but you will always know of it… Feeling a bit better now?”

“Well… I’m certainly not dead scared anymore, but I’m not sure if it isn’t your doing to make me like you…”

“It’s not. It’s your heart, which has already accepted the inevitable, and is trying to make the most of it. Your mind should follow soon. For good or bad, we both have to accept this link we have for what it is, and live with it.”

“Oh, now you sounded soooooo damn poetic! *makes a sarcastic flourish with his hand* “But I guess you are right at the end. I cannot seem to do anything about you, so I may as well be content with the situation.” *realizes that he’s been standing in an awkward position so far, relaxes, and sits down comfortably on the big red floor-pillow recently acquired from the Consortium* I am either crazy or not, but at least I have a fancy tale of a benign outworld being in my head, which sounds much much better than being simply schizophrenic.” *a tired smile*

*A minute of silence sets in, only Floozie and Errol, the aviak hatchling putter around the acorn.*

“Voice! Are you still here?”

“Aye, Master F, at your service!”

“Hehehe, at my service, that’s a good one! Say, you mentioned five others?”

“Indeed I did. You six are as mixed a bunch as any can wish for, but still, your fates are somehow related and intertwined through me.”

“Who are the others?”

“Well, there are three pairs of siblings altogether. First of the 6 is you, Flixtron Doohickey, a Kelethin druid, who is a mechamagic inventor at the same time, with all your easygoing trial-and-error attitude and creativity.

Then there is your elder sister, Flexie - I know she hates being called Flexadromatica, and I agree your father must have drank one too many celebration cups to come up with a name like that, so I’ll stick with Flexie as well. You know her, she is always serious and exact, a born librarian. As the budding illusionist she is becoming, she is likely to have plenty of opportunity to create her beloved models of everything, and systematically improve on the originals as well. She will make a wonderful sage.

Next there are the Steelbeard twins, two dwarves of Queynos. Frugni ought to have been a berserker, the pent-up rage within him would have made him a perfect machine of devastation. However he never wanted to be one, and has been fighting against his nature for years. With some serious favours done to a dojo, he has become a monk in hope to gain control of his anger. The success is lopsided, to say the least. On one of his tests, where he should have just sat in meditation and _not_ take part in repelling the monthly brigand raid on the village, he produced the memorable “ooooooooooOOOOOOOMMMMMMMWAAAAAAAAAAAGHRRRRRRRR!” mantra, and after valiantly battling himself for some twenty minutes, he exploded, and essentially wiped out the brigands by himself. Ever since then he roams the world searching for peace and quiet - heretofore without much success.

Axinite on the other hand, has just found the perfect job for herself. Not just holier-than-thou, but rather holier-than-the-world, she firmly believes in her moral superiority over anyone, and that as a paladin, it is her divine right and mandate to bring the light to every being walking in the dark - and smash it right between their eyes.

It’s a good thing she has not yet met either of the two ratongas. Pacifico and Aberra T’Eohn would most probably make her frothing at the mouth from a mile away. The older of the two, Pacifico is a dirge, and a damn bastard. Smooth like velvet, and poisonous like a snake, he is danger incarnate. Don’t even believe his questions, that rat is simply made of lies. When his training was just beginning, he decided that Neriak was not the place for him, and his style and talent could shine all the more in Freeport. Although the Overlord’s realm was a bit less than what he expected (or more, rather), there is no real way back, so he makes do on his own there.

The younger of the pair, Aberra is quite different. Oh, she is a bitch all right, but an honest bitch at least. She stayed in Neriak with their Teir’Dal mentors, and delved deep into necromancy. If Axinite is adamant in her belief of moral superiority, Aberra is twice as unshakeable in knowing that no being, living or dead can come close to her mental prowess and magic power. To give her credit, she _is_ good, and if not as good as she thinks, she is not far behind, and she does have a lot of potential. This of course makes her a bit obsessive about staying ahead, and in her single-minded quest for power and more power she is likely to kick, kill, maim, or use as a rubber bathtub duck anyone who happens to stand in her way. (She rather likes rubber bathtub ducks, so that’s not a very bad option). She does not have a category like “friend”, more like “temporarily tolerated”, even though she can be quite civil with people she finds useful for her purposes. Her only soft spot is her “Big Fuzzy Bro”, Pacifico, whom she adores - and who, apart from hating to be called “Big Fuzzy Bro”, cares a lot for her little sis too.”

*Flix listens with rapt attention* “Gods above, that is a strange troupe indeed! I hope we’ll find a way to live together, but it seems such a difficult task now…”

“You’ll get used to it in time, and I’ll try to watch out for trouble as well. In the meanwhile I’ve added a new function to your -and the others’ - autojournals. You can call me and each other now through this gadget here. I’ve already recorded our current discussion there - which is a bit of a backstab, I know, but this way I may not have to play the same show for the others as well, and we can move on with our respective changed lives.”

“Oh dear…” *With a sigh, Flix sags down to the pillow, and stares blankly at the ceiling for some minutes. After a while his eyes light up though, and he begins to explore the new buttons, levers and flibigots on the journal.* “Aha! And if I push this here, than I can - ooooooh lovely - and what if I try this? Heehee, that is cute! - let’s do it again! uh-oh, there is something wrong! Lets push that one, maybe it helps… - and now this… and that…. and if i do this… and ooh, here is another I’ve not seen… and another… oh more, more… yay, got a bit of smoke as well! - oops, i hope it’s not broken… lets try this now…”

*Completely absorbed in the new gizmo, his voice fades into mumbling. Gone are the shocks of having someone rule one’s ego, gone are the troubles of having to find peace among six complete loonies, gone are the memories of the worlds worst headache in a century. All the world’s a big red pillow now, and only two things exist on it: a gnome and his gadget. The entity withdraws, smiling to himself, and goes back to his job. His work here for today is done*